The Christmas Gathering

This is repost from 2007, I thought is was worth sharing again.


The temperature was in the mid twenties and snow covered the ground, as I passed houses adorned with Christmas lights I felt the sparkle of Christmas joy within me. In an unfamiliar neighborhood, I searched in the darkness for the home of a very special family. Upon entering, I felt like I had stepped into Christmas. This home of Austrian immigrants was beautifully decorated for Christmas, with platters of goodies all around and the faces of friends to greet me, I was feeling especially good.

This group of four couples all share a special bond. We had each been the recipient of the infamous knock on the door with two uniformed servicemen awaiting us on the other side. Yes, we were all the parents of sons who had been killed in combat in Iraq and Afghanistan.

There were no tears shed that evening. We told stories, laughed, reminisced, and ate lots of food. As the conversation turned to things of real importance, I felt a sense of awe as I realized the true patriots I sat among, their depth of character and true love not only for their families, but for their country.

As we spoke of our sons, as we usually do when we are together, not once did anyone say, “if only he hadn’t gone,” “why did my son have to die,” or “what are we fighting for.” Instead, we spoke of the awesome privilege it is to live in the United States of America, something most people simply take for granted. Bob Lehmiller, father of Sgt. Michael Lehmiller, killed in Afghanistan August 21, 2005, talked about previous wars and the enormous casualty rates they had suffered. We each acknowledged that the casualty rate in our current war is extremely low in light of the great accomplishments that have been made. It was mentioned at the start of the Iraq invasion, servicemen were told to expect 30,000 casualties in the first 30 days. Here we are at 41/2 years into the conflict with a casualty count of about 4,000. Although our personal losses are deep and painful, the overall cost in American lives has been extremely low.

It has become clear that for some of us, parents of sons killed in combat defending our liberties, we see this as a “special duty” we have been chosen for. Our sons paid the highest price possible and we who remain behind are now charged with the responsibility to carry on where they left off. There is so much to do. We have been called on first to be Americans who support our nation no matter the cost. Then we go out into our communities and help others recognize the need to step up and be participants of patriotism and not simply partakers. I am often amazed after finishing a care package project for the troops where dozens of people have volunteered their time, effort and money, to have someone come to me and say “thank you for letting me help.” You see their excitement knowing they have a made a difference in the lives of American servicemen on the other side of the world. They don’t keep their excitement to themselves, they share it with others and their patriotism shows just a bit brighter.

The Lehmillers travel to events across the nation in their truck decked out in camouflage, a Purple Heart and tributes to our military, promoting Operation Salute which supports servicemen and their families in times of need. You’ll find many families of the fallen involved in projects and organizations that are making a difference for our servicemen and our nation. I have found that those who have lost the most seem to have the most to give.

As I started for home that evening, I felt joy and peace in my heart knowing I am part of a very special group of people. Although we miss our sons terribly and feel thier loss every moment of the day, we are proud parents who are honored to serve our nation.