I eagerly awaited the showing of the HBO movie “Taking Chance”. The movie depicted Mairne Pfc Chance Phelps' final journey home after being killed in Iraq. Lt. Col. Mike Strobl, Phelps' escort from Dover AFB back to his family in Wyoming, carefully recorded the events of this special duty. The story underscored the extreme dignity, honor and respect our fallen warriors are given every step of the way, from the battlefield to their final resting place.
First I want to say thank to you Pfc Phelps and his family for their service and sacrifice to our nation and to express my most heartfelt condolences. The final journey of Chance Phelps although tragic, was beautiful. It made me very proud.
My son Adam, like Chance, had also made that final trip home, with a Marine escort by his side after being killed in Iraq. As I watched the movie, I thought about my son and what that trip might have been like for him. Many things shown in the movie gave me new insight about my son's journey from Iraq, to Dover and finally home to Salt Lake City. I was especially moved by the way the bodies of our warriors are treated at Dover. The care and respect shown by each person at Dover surprised me, although it shouldn't have. I had no idea it was that way. My son's body was probably treated with a similar respect, and that comforts me.
The exceptional way a Marine escort cares for the Marine is awe-inspiring. At our request, my son was escorted home by his best friend, then LCpl. Robert Clark. Adam and Bobby grew up together, played baseball together and joined the Marines together, and Bobby brought Adam home. As I watched Lt. Col. Strobl in his escort duty, I realized just what it was we had asked Bobby to do, and how difficult that must have been for him. Just as Lt. Col. Strobl carried the small red velvet bag with Chance's personal effects from Dover and delivered them to his family, Bobby also carried a small red bag containing Adam's personal effects. I had never thought about how it had been Bobby's responsibility to carry that little bag with such care, and ensure it was safely placed in our hands. Truthfully, I don't know how Bobby ever got through that duty. I appreciate what he did for Adam more today, because of Chance Phelps' story.
Some of the same Marines from 2/23 Fox Company (-) who provided the funeral detail for Pfc. Phelps also helped lay my son to rest. For those who gave all and for the families left behind, the Marines truly do this job right. I thank them, and and am proud of them. Their compassionate professionalism comforted me.
This movie gave me understanding about the process and what it took to bring our son home. Despite spending the next few days in tears, I felt better knowing a little bit more about my son's final journey. I am grateful to Lt. Col. Strobl for volunteering to be Pfc. Phelps' escort and for his writings that eventually became this excellent movie. Lt. Col. Strobl, not only did you honor Pfc. Phelps and the Marine Corps, you provided a little more peace to another Marine mom who dearly misses her son. Thank you.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
The Last Birthday
Adam had been home on his predeployment leave and would be heading back to 29 Palms on February 10th, then to Iraq in early March. His 21st birthday on April 2nd would be spent in Iraq and that thought made me very sad. With only a few days remaining before his leave ended, I decided to throw Adam a birthday party. It was a little early but why not? As it turned out, it became one of the most fun and memorable birthdays, and it would also be his last birthday.
With only a few days to plan, we put together a nice family dinner and celebration along with gifts of course. For his deployment to Iraq we had ordered a KA-Bar knife, which he said wanted but didn't know we were getting. After all, a Marine needs his KA-Bar. But this was not just any knife, it was more like a small sword, with an eight inch fixed blade, but it was what he wanted. That worked out well, I didn't even have to stress over getting him a birthday present, the KA-Bar would do just fine. Only one problem, February 9th, the day of the birthday party came but the knife did not. Now what? So I had to move to plan B. This was a problem that could be easily solved with a trip to the dollar store and some imagination.
The birthday table was set in Adam's signature red – red everything. Red table cloth, red plates, cups, red wrapping paper, you name it and we did it red. The family all came, we had dinner with lots of laughs and stories. After the meal, blowing out the candles and eating birthday cake, it was time for gifts. Adam opened his presents one by one, and then it was time for his “big present” from mom and dad. Adam opened the box only to find a gray plastic sword with a bright orange handle. He laughed and smiled with those adorable dimples and got the biggest kick out of his new “weapon”. That was a happy evening and one I will always cherish.
The next day, just before Adam was to leave town to go back to 29 Palms, the KA-Bar arrived. Tony and I met up with him on his way out of town, in the Crown Burger parking lot, and exchanged the plastic sword with his coveted KA-Bar. We said our good-byes, he got in his car and drove away. It seemed so sad to see him go even though we knew we would see him in about three weeks in 29 Palms to see him off to Iraq. That was the last time we ever saw Adam here in Salt Lake City. So if you ever see me crying in my onion rings at Crown Burger, you'll know why.
Adam's 21st birthday on February 9th which wasn't his birthday at all, was one of the best!
Cpl. Adam Galvez, USMC
KIA 8/20/06 Iraq
Friday, January 16, 2009
My Tribute to President George W. Bush
As the days count down to President Bush leaving office, a barrage of emotions have come over me that I did not expect. I knew it would be hard for me to see President Bush go, but these feelings caught me off guard. You see, the Bush presidency became very personal to me. It literally defined my life and changed it forever.
When President Bush took office in 2001, we were an average middle class family with three kids, then ages 12, 15 and 18. Life was hectic but nothing too out of the ordinary. President Bush instilled confidence in me. I felt like he had good insight and understanding and could get the job done. After 9/11 he demonstrated an ability and strength of character that made me believe he was the right man at the right time, and that America would be well served by him. I admired his determination and steadfastness to do what had to be done. I knew that President Bush was driven by his depth of character, his core values and beliefs, and his desire to always do what was best for America.
President Bush did not seem to care about scoring political points or making personal gains. That knowledge comforted me when my son Adam joined the Marine Corps in 2004. It was a fact that Adam would be going to war, but he would do so under a president who desired nothing more than to protect America. Knowing that, reassured me. My son would not be putting his life on the line as a pawn in someone's political game or to fulfill some ulterior motive of the powerful. No, my son and every other person who served, did so at the direction of a man who himself was a servant to the people.
On August 31, 2006 President Bush sat with my family and privately expressed his condolences for our son's death in Iraq. The sincerity of his heart was evident. Our son's death was personal to him too. This young American had gone into battle at his direction and had come home to his family in a casket. He grieved with us but remained steadfast in his duty to defend America. Although we had just buried our son, we held firm to our belief in the need to complete and win the war in Iraq. The future of the American way of life depended on it.
In addition to taking the fight to the terrorist and keeping it off our homeland, the U.S. presence in Iraq liberated 25million people, and helped form an oasis of emerging freedom and democracy in the a volatile middle east, which was necessary for our safety here at home.
The President's development of the department of Homeland Security and implementation of various programs to monitor, detect and thwart threats against America have worked. Since 9/11 no attacks on the homeland were able to come to fruition. The homeland had been kept safe.
The last eight years have brought good and bad. I won't say I have agreed with everything President Bush has done, but what he has done, he did out of a conviction to do the right thing for the people and for the country. He has acted with courage, honor and integrity throughout his eight years as our president.
To President Bush I say thank for serving our nation in such an honorable way. Thank you for recognizing the real threats we faced and for acting to preserve and protect our nation and it's people. Thank you for being a man of integrity and being willing to do the right thing regardless of the direction the political wind was blowing. You honored God, you honored our country and now Mr. President I honor you and thank you for a job well done.
When President Bush took office in 2001, we were an average middle class family with three kids, then ages 12, 15 and 18. Life was hectic but nothing too out of the ordinary. President Bush instilled confidence in me. I felt like he had good insight and understanding and could get the job done. After 9/11 he demonstrated an ability and strength of character that made me believe he was the right man at the right time, and that America would be well served by him. I admired his determination and steadfastness to do what had to be done. I knew that President Bush was driven by his depth of character, his core values and beliefs, and his desire to always do what was best for America.
President Bush did not seem to care about scoring political points or making personal gains. That knowledge comforted me when my son Adam joined the Marine Corps in 2004. It was a fact that Adam would be going to war, but he would do so under a president who desired nothing more than to protect America. Knowing that, reassured me. My son would not be putting his life on the line as a pawn in someone's political game or to fulfill some ulterior motive of the powerful. No, my son and every other person who served, did so at the direction of a man who himself was a servant to the people.
On August 31, 2006 President Bush sat with my family and privately expressed his condolences for our son's death in Iraq. The sincerity of his heart was evident. Our son's death was personal to him too. This young American had gone into battle at his direction and had come home to his family in a casket. He grieved with us but remained steadfast in his duty to defend America. Although we had just buried our son, we held firm to our belief in the need to complete and win the war in Iraq. The future of the American way of life depended on it.
In addition to taking the fight to the terrorist and keeping it off our homeland, the U.S. presence in Iraq liberated 25million people, and helped form an oasis of emerging freedom and democracy in the a volatile middle east, which was necessary for our safety here at home.
The President's development of the department of Homeland Security and implementation of various programs to monitor, detect and thwart threats against America have worked. Since 9/11 no attacks on the homeland were able to come to fruition. The homeland had been kept safe.
The last eight years have brought good and bad. I won't say I have agreed with everything President Bush has done, but what he has done, he did out of a conviction to do the right thing for the people and for the country. He has acted with courage, honor and integrity throughout his eight years as our president.
To President Bush I say thank for serving our nation in such an honorable way. Thank you for recognizing the real threats we faced and for acting to preserve and protect our nation and it's people. Thank you for being a man of integrity and being willing to do the right thing regardless of the direction the political wind was blowing. You honored God, you honored our country and now Mr. President I honor you and thank you for a job well done.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Different Than It Used To Be, But Christmas Is Still Wonderful
Whew, we made it through another Christmas! I not only made it through, but it was an especially wonderful Christmas this time around.
When the kids were younger Christmas was all about the tree, massive amounts of gifts, last minute shopping, late night Christmas Eve wrapping, and falling into bed about 2 AM after ensuring every detail was handled. Making sure my kids would have a great Christmas morning was all that mattered. Did I forget anything? Do the presents look just right under the tree? Will the kids like their stockings? Oh maybe I should not have bought this and should have bought that. Those were wonderful times and what I use as the standard to compare every Christmas with.
Now my oldest is 26 has a family of her own. My youngest is 20 and still lives at home, sort of. My middle child lies in a grave at the Veteran’s cemetery. Well, his body lies in a grave. I take great comfort in knowing he is now in Heaven and in the presence of the Lord. Since Adam’s death in Iraq, nothing has been the same, and most certainly Christmas has been different. We miss him every day but at Christmastime the loss is accentuated.
I don’t feel the same excitement about Christmas as I used to. We tend to blame the blahs about the holidays on Adam’s death. How could you enjoy Christmas in the same way when someone you love so much is gone? But the truth is, the lack of enthusiasm my not be entirely due to my son’s death. The hustle and bustle, mad dashes to get the right gift, decorating, Christmas baking and the excitement in the air are enhanced by the presence of children. Moms and Dads feed off the excitement of their children. They are the ones who make Christmas so special.
Now that the kids are grown and there are no children in the house, the deceleration of the Christmas whirlwind is probably a natural progression and not entirely attributed to a missing family member.
There reached a point following my son’s death where I had to quit longing for things to be normal again. My definition of normal was when “Adam was still alive.” I remember the moment my heart and eyes were opened to the concept of the “new normal” It was now normal that Adam would not be present at holiday gatherings, so longing for him to be there was doing myself and the rest of the family a disservice. I had to embrace what was now normal and be grateful for the blessings we had, because they were plentiful.
Just as life without one of my children led me to live in a new kind of normal, so has the “empty nest” syndrome. Life will never be the same as it was when the children were younger. We have grown into new phases of life where everything does not revolve around the kids. That is also a new kind of normal and very nice in many ways. Actually, it’s really nice in a lot of ways.
As I would most certainly be missing my son on Christmas, a special friend told me to “cherish the memories but remember that new memories are were yet to be made.” That bit of advice made me think about what kind of memories I wanted to have when I reflected on this Christmas.
As Christmas of 2008 went into the history books, I could say I had a truly wonderful Christmas and good memories had certainly been made. There were no tears, just a joyous day with those I love and anticipation of many good things to come in the new year .
When the kids were younger Christmas was all about the tree, massive amounts of gifts, last minute shopping, late night Christmas Eve wrapping, and falling into bed about 2 AM after ensuring every detail was handled. Making sure my kids would have a great Christmas morning was all that mattered. Did I forget anything? Do the presents look just right under the tree? Will the kids like their stockings? Oh maybe I should not have bought this and should have bought that. Those were wonderful times and what I use as the standard to compare every Christmas with.
Now my oldest is 26 has a family of her own. My youngest is 20 and still lives at home, sort of. My middle child lies in a grave at the Veteran’s cemetery. Well, his body lies in a grave. I take great comfort in knowing he is now in Heaven and in the presence of the Lord. Since Adam’s death in Iraq, nothing has been the same, and most certainly Christmas has been different. We miss him every day but at Christmastime the loss is accentuated.
I don’t feel the same excitement about Christmas as I used to. We tend to blame the blahs about the holidays on Adam’s death. How could you enjoy Christmas in the same way when someone you love so much is gone? But the truth is, the lack of enthusiasm my not be entirely due to my son’s death. The hustle and bustle, mad dashes to get the right gift, decorating, Christmas baking and the excitement in the air are enhanced by the presence of children. Moms and Dads feed off the excitement of their children. They are the ones who make Christmas so special.
Now that the kids are grown and there are no children in the house, the deceleration of the Christmas whirlwind is probably a natural progression and not entirely attributed to a missing family member.
There reached a point following my son’s death where I had to quit longing for things to be normal again. My definition of normal was when “Adam was still alive.” I remember the moment my heart and eyes were opened to the concept of the “new normal” It was now normal that Adam would not be present at holiday gatherings, so longing for him to be there was doing myself and the rest of the family a disservice. I had to embrace what was now normal and be grateful for the blessings we had, because they were plentiful.
Just as life without one of my children led me to live in a new kind of normal, so has the “empty nest” syndrome. Life will never be the same as it was when the children were younger. We have grown into new phases of life where everything does not revolve around the kids. That is also a new kind of normal and very nice in many ways. Actually, it’s really nice in a lot of ways.
As I would most certainly be missing my son on Christmas, a special friend told me to “cherish the memories but remember that new memories are were yet to be made.” That bit of advice made me think about what kind of memories I wanted to have when I reflected on this Christmas.
As Christmas of 2008 went into the history books, I could say I had a truly wonderful Christmas and good memories had certainly been made. There were no tears, just a joyous day with those I love and anticipation of many good things to come in the new year .
Saturday, December 6, 2008
The Christmas Gathering
This is repost from 2007, I thought is was worth sharing again.
The temperature was in the mid twenties and snow covered the ground, as I passed houses adorned with Christmas lights I felt the sparkle of Christmas joy within me. In an unfamiliar neighborhood, I searched in the darkness for the home of a very special family. Upon entering, I felt like I had stepped into Christmas. This home of Austrian immigrants was beautifully decorated for Christmas, with platters of goodies all around and the faces of friends to greet me, I was feeling especially good.
This group of four couples all share a special bond. We had each been the recipient of the infamous knock on the door with two uniformed servicemen awaiting us on the other side. Yes, we were all the parents of sons who had been killed in combat in Iraq and Afghanistan.
There were no tears shed that evening. We told stories, laughed, reminisced, and ate lots of food. As the conversation turned to things of real importance, I felt a sense of awe as I realized the true patriots I sat among, their depth of character and true love not only for their families, but for their country.
As we spoke of our sons, as we usually do when we are together, not once did anyone say, “if only he hadn’t gone,” “why did my son have to die,” or “what are we fighting for.” Instead, we spoke of the awesome privilege it is to live in the United States of America, something most people simply take for granted. Bob Lehmiller, father of Sgt. Michael Lehmiller, killed in Afghanistan August 21, 2005, talked about previous wars and the enormous casualty rates they had suffered. We each acknowledged that the casualty rate in our current war is extremely low in light of the great accomplishments that have been made. It was mentioned at the start of the Iraq invasion, servicemen were told to expect 30,000 casualties in the first 30 days. Here we are at 41/2 years into the conflict with a casualty count of about 4,000. Although our personal losses are deep and painful, the overall cost in American lives has been extremely low.
It has become clear that for some of us, parents of sons killed in combat defending our liberties, we see this as a “special duty” we have been chosen for. Our sons paid the highest price possible and we who remain behind are now charged with the responsibility to carry on where they left off. There is so much to do. We have been called on first to be Americans who support our nation no matter the cost. Then we go out into our communities and help others recognize the need to step up and be participants of patriotism and not simply partakers. I am often amazed after finishing a care package project for the troops where dozens of people have volunteered their time, effort and money, to have someone come to me and say “thank you for letting me help.” You see their excitement knowing they have a made a difference in the lives of American servicemen on the other side of the world. They don’t keep their excitement to themselves, they share it with others and their patriotism shows just a bit brighter.
The Lehmillers travel to events across the nation in their truck decked out in camouflage, a Purple Heart and tributes to our military, promoting Operation Salute which supports servicemen and their families in times of need. You’ll find many families of the fallen involved in projects and organizations that are making a difference for our servicemen and our nation. I have found that those who have lost the most seem to have the most to give.
As I started for home that evening, I felt joy and peace in my heart knowing I am part of a very special group of people. Although we miss our sons terribly and feel thier loss every moment of the day, we are proud parents who are honored to serve our nation.
The temperature was in the mid twenties and snow covered the ground, as I passed houses adorned with Christmas lights I felt the sparkle of Christmas joy within me. In an unfamiliar neighborhood, I searched in the darkness for the home of a very special family. Upon entering, I felt like I had stepped into Christmas. This home of Austrian immigrants was beautifully decorated for Christmas, with platters of goodies all around and the faces of friends to greet me, I was feeling especially good.
This group of four couples all share a special bond. We had each been the recipient of the infamous knock on the door with two uniformed servicemen awaiting us on the other side. Yes, we were all the parents of sons who had been killed in combat in Iraq and Afghanistan.
There were no tears shed that evening. We told stories, laughed, reminisced, and ate lots of food. As the conversation turned to things of real importance, I felt a sense of awe as I realized the true patriots I sat among, their depth of character and true love not only for their families, but for their country.
As we spoke of our sons, as we usually do when we are together, not once did anyone say, “if only he hadn’t gone,” “why did my son have to die,” or “what are we fighting for.” Instead, we spoke of the awesome privilege it is to live in the United States of America, something most people simply take for granted. Bob Lehmiller, father of Sgt. Michael Lehmiller, killed in Afghanistan August 21, 2005, talked about previous wars and the enormous casualty rates they had suffered. We each acknowledged that the casualty rate in our current war is extremely low in light of the great accomplishments that have been made. It was mentioned at the start of the Iraq invasion, servicemen were told to expect 30,000 casualties in the first 30 days. Here we are at 41/2 years into the conflict with a casualty count of about 4,000. Although our personal losses are deep and painful, the overall cost in American lives has been extremely low.
It has become clear that for some of us, parents of sons killed in combat defending our liberties, we see this as a “special duty” we have been chosen for. Our sons paid the highest price possible and we who remain behind are now charged with the responsibility to carry on where they left off. There is so much to do. We have been called on first to be Americans who support our nation no matter the cost. Then we go out into our communities and help others recognize the need to step up and be participants of patriotism and not simply partakers. I am often amazed after finishing a care package project for the troops where dozens of people have volunteered their time, effort and money, to have someone come to me and say “thank you for letting me help.” You see their excitement knowing they have a made a difference in the lives of American servicemen on the other side of the world. They don’t keep their excitement to themselves, they share it with others and their patriotism shows just a bit brighter.
The Lehmillers travel to events across the nation in their truck decked out in camouflage, a Purple Heart and tributes to our military, promoting Operation Salute which supports servicemen and their families in times of need. You’ll find many families of the fallen involved in projects and organizations that are making a difference for our servicemen and our nation. I have found that those who have lost the most seem to have the most to give.
As I started for home that evening, I felt joy and peace in my heart knowing I am part of a very special group of people. Although we miss our sons terribly and feel thier loss every moment of the day, we are proud parents who are honored to serve our nation.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Lt. Andrew Kinard, An Amazing Marine
Lt. Andrew Kinard is an amazing Marine. Back in October of 2006 Lt. Kinard was with 2nd LAR, the unit that had just replaced my son's unit in Rawah, Iraq. Following 2nd LAR's progress in Rawah seemed to help me feel connected to my son Adam, who had been killed in that same town only a few months before. Knowing what was happening there made me feel better somehow. Maybe because that is where my son spent the last days of his life. A piece of my heart was still in Rawah.
Lt. Kinard suffered devastating injures on Oct. 29, 2006 when he was struck by an IED. I have kept up on his progress over the last few years and have been touched by his humble and gracious attitude. He knows God is working in his life and has given him some very special duty. I was honored to meet Lt. Kinard earlier this year. We met simply by chance. I had met one of my heroes.
Read Lt. Kinard's story.
Read Lt. Kinard's story.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Marine Awarded Silver Star
Moses Cardenas
On one hot August morning near Rawah, Iraq, Lance Corporal Moses Cardenas of the Marines 1st Light Armored Reconnaissance Battalion found his platoon barraged by an insurgent suicide bomb, numerous rocket-propelled grenades, and heavy machine gun fire. In the chaotic moments that followed, Cardenas would have to decide between attempting the rescue of his wounded sergeant or remain in his covered position until reinforcements arrived. The choice was simple.
Cardenas thought, "He was my sergeant; I had to do something," and with that he courageously charged 50 meters through the kill-zone to his wounded comrade. Running the gauntlet through enemy fire, he was shot in the neck by the spray of weapons’ fire. Undeterred, he arrived at Sgt. Randy Roedema’s exposed position and performed first-aid to stop the flow of blood from Roedema’s severe wounds.
With both Marines wounded and under the sights of numerous insurgents, Cardenas knew if he was to save his friend he must evacuate both of them to safety. With his M249 Squad Automatic Weapon charged and a grip on his injured sergeant, Cardenas rotated between firing his machine gun and pulling Roedema across the battlefield. Reaching the relative safety of his platoon’s convoy, Cardenas continued laying down suppressive fire until the situation came under control and medics could tend to the wounded Marines.
Cardenas was awarded the Silver Star, the third highest military award. Roedema would later reflect "I owe him my life." Four days after Cardenas saved his life, Roedema’s wife gave birth to their first child – a child that will have a father because of the selfless act preformed by Cardenas on that summer morning in Iraq
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