Halabjah

The city of Halabjah is about a 90 minute drive from our location, through countryside on narrow roads, and only seven miles from the Iranian border. It is the site of Saddam Hussein’s 1988 chemical weapons bombing in which 5,000 people were killed within five minutes of the bombs dropping. Our vehicles moved through the tiny streets of this run down, poverty stricken town and was a spectacle in which people stopped and stared as we passed by. Our arrival at the memorial site was somewhat unnerving. Unlike any time before, our security detail now carried submachine guns. News and video cameras were everywhere. Many people, mostly men in suits, were awaiting our arrival. Our security briefed us on exactly how to move once we left the bus. We followed every order that was given as we felt our safety was at risk.

The museum was filled with photos and displays of the dead lying in the streets following the attack of twenty two years ago. Men, women, children, babies, the elderly, animals all lay dead. Photos of the dead were taken by Saddam’s men to prove the weapons had been effective. Copies of those photos lined the walls and were heartbreaking. Mother and baby lying dead in the street as she tried to shield her baby from death. The back of a pick up truck filled with children trying to escape the planes dropping the bombs. They did not escaped. As I was looking at this photo, a man standing in front of me pointed to himself, then pointed to the picture. He said, “me”. Another man who spoke broken English confirmed what I believed the man to be saying. The man standing before me had been one of the children in that truck, the only survivor. “He laid in that truck for two days” the man said until he was rescued by Iranians. As I moved on, a video showed a young boy who survived the attack but was covered in blisters. As I watched, a man standing beside me looked at me, pointed to himself then pointed back to the video. This man was the child in the video. Others stood at the memorial where a listing of names of the dead showed several names from a single family all grouped together. One man pointed to a group of ten names, all those of his family. He had been the only survivor.

We moved to the graveyard where the victims for the chemical bombings were buried. Those who were not identified were buried in mass graves which contained 1,500 bodies or more. The rest were buried in a single grave with a headstone. Little fences and various kinds of bordering denoted multiple graves of people from the same family. The Gold Star Mothers laid flowers at the base of the “Mother’s Monument” in the graveyard, and listened to the survivors tell their stories and express their gratitude that our sons helped rid their county of the man who had done this to them. The sincere connection they seemed to feel with us touched our hearts. With most of us in tears, one by one, a pin representing the monument and tribute to 5,000 killed was pinned on us by the survivors.

Still aware of the presence of heavy fire power, video taping, and obvious potential safety risk, at the conclusion of the ceremony, our group of Gold Star Moms, Iraqi moms, and others quickly moved as instructed by security, back to our bus.

How do you sort out all the emotions after what we had just experienced? 5,000 dead in the streets, the photos, the graves, the survivors and the overwhelming realization that our U.S. Military got rid of the man who had done this. All the Gold Star Mothers felt pride in knowing our children helped liberate these people and give them hope for the future.

An Evening with The First Lady of Iraq

One special evening during our trip to Iraq was spent at the home of President and Mrs. Talabani. Mrs. Talabani, the First Lady of Iraq, hosted a dinner for the Gold Star Mothers who were visiting from the U.S., along with the women from Baghdad that we spent the week with. The day before, Mrs. Talabani had Tradition Kurdish dresses made of each woman in our group. The men were also provided with traditional Kurdish clothing. Dressed for the occasion, we arrived at the home of Mrs. Talabani. The First Lady of Iraq provided a bountiful dinner for our group. During dinner Mrs. Talabani told stories of hiding out from Saddam Hussein in the hills of Northern Iraq. She recounted the events of one night in particular when she heard the sound of incoming fire and exploding bombs while remaining in black out conditions. The next morning they found and unexploded bomb in the entrance of the structure they had sought shelter in. She also spoke of the chemical bombings by Saddam’s men on the Kurds and the fight to stay alive as he inflicted death and destruction the people. Mrs. Talabani’s genuine gratitude for all the U.S. Military had done for her country could not be overstated.

Following dinner, Mrs. Talabani presented each Gold Star Mother with and elegant crystal award engraved with this beautiful message. “Our eternal gratitude to the mothers who raised the bravest of children, who dedicated their lives to the liberation of other nations…… (signed) A Mother” This is something I will cherish forever as it is from the heart of one mother to another.

A time of socializing with Mrs. Talabani and the Iraqi women in our group we now considered dear friends was had, along with a surprise birthday celebration for our Utah Gold Star Mom Colleen Parkin. Mrs. Talabani provided four pink birthday cakes (pink being Colleen’s trademark color) and the group sang Happy Birthday to Colleen in English, Kurdish and Arabic.

This evening with Mrs. Talabani was uplifting and heartwarming. Her love and gratitude for us and our children who had died in her country, fighting for their liberation, was sincere and genuine. She was a mother reaching out to the hearts other mothers.

The repeated theme of the week which for me was completely unexpected, was love and gratitude for all our sons and daughters had done for the people of Iraq. They them as their own, and now the mother’s of those remarkable American Warriors were also loved by the people of Iraq.

Mrs. Talabani with the Joan Betros the President of FUTURE

Mrs. Talabani presenting a gift to
South Carolina Gold Star Mother Ann Hampton

Mrs. Talabani and Utah Gold Star Mother
Colleen Parkin at the birthday celebration

Birthday Party!

Utah group Amy Galvez, Colleen Parkin, Jan Moncur

and Matthew LaPlante

Read more about Hero Talabani in this 2006 Kurd net story.

Things Were Not as They Seemed.

Although we felt fairly safe in Iraq, there were some tense moments on this trip. Life in Iraq is very different than what we are used to in the U.S. Machine guns are a common sight and go mostly unnoticed by the locals. The sound of gunshots are heard from time to time. Buildings riddled with bullet holes are seen here and there and the periodic sound of a distant explosion doesn’t seem to startle anyone but visitors.

Upon arriving in Iraq we were told by our security to stay highly aware of our surrounds, always stay with our assigned partner, and listen to our security detail and do exactly as they say. Doug the head of our security team emphasized the importance of paying attention to our "gut". If something didn’t feel right, it's probably for good reason. Our security was always on top of things and we had complete confidence in their ability to keep us safe.

One evening, those feelings of safety gave way to apprehension, concern, and finally fear. We boarded our buses and set out for dinner. No one in our group, including our security was aware of what was in store for us that evening . We arrived at a heavily guarded compound and were welcomed in high style. Video cameras captured our every move, but we had become somewhat accustomed to that as cameras seemed to be present everywhere we went. During the reception it came to light that things were not as they seemed. Although dinner was uneventful, there was a growing sense that something wasn't right. The enormous presence of firepower and guards at the compound was concerning because our security did not have any visible weapons and were completely outnumbered. We were feeling increasingly uncomfortable.

Following dinner we were escorted to an area of the compound where a religious ritual was to take place. It was a ritual of violence inflicted on adults and children. Violent acts were committed right in front of us as others recorded our reactions on video. We were helpless to do anything but sit there and watch. What if we had the “wrong” reaction? What if we tried to leave? What if we tried to stop them from hurting one of the kids? None of us was willing to risk making the wrong move. Many of us prayed quietly as the mutilations continued. After nearly two hours of being subjected to watching this “ritual”, it became clearer as to why we were there.Their purpose for having us there was to show us what violent and terrible things can be done, yet their god Allah will protect them. They actually seemed to be proud and showing off in a very disturbing way.

After a very long evening we were permitted to leave. We were shocked by what we saw that night. Part of what seemed so sad was the children being brought up in this violence and conditioned for these types of rituals. In Iraq there is no “child protective services” to swoop in and remove children from a dangerous environment.

The events of the that night gave way to an unexpected and joyful day that would continue to bond the women together. The love of the God of the Bible would be evident in sharp contrast to the violence of Allah, the god of Islam.

A Divine Appointment at Lake Dukan

One afternoon was set aside for time of quiet reflection and a memorial service for our sons and daughters who had been killed in the Iraq war. Was another memorial service really what we needed? I wanted to be accomplishing concrete work with the Iraqi people, not memorializing my son, as much of that had already been done. Little did I know this day may have been the most important day of our time in Iraq.

We arrived at Lake Dukan, an exclusive resort in northern Iraq. Overlooking the lake and the nearby hills, the mothers had a nice lunch and a quite time of visiting with one another and reflecting on our children and all that had happened.

Our Chaplain offered to provide communion for any who would like to participate. A group of six moved to a secluded alcove to proceed with our service. Each one felt the presence of God fall on us in that place. We sang, worshiped the Lord and received communion. The moment was surreal as I thought of my son and his brutal death in this Muslim land, and now I was here, worshiping the Lord. From August of 2006 to September of 2010, what amazing things God had done, to bring us to this moment. As we concluded our worship and communion service we looked up to see our Iraqi friends (Iraqi women and others we had spent the week with) gathered all around, watching us worship of our Lord.

We ended our day with our Moms, Iraqi friends and others gathered outside in a large circle. Each mother was given time to speak about her son, reflect, or give a bible verse that was special to them. Each mother took a few moments. This was a once in a lifetime opportunity to share with the Iraqis, what God had done for me. I took my place in front of the group and shared about the Lord, His love and all He has done. Again, a moment that was unfathomable four years ago. To think God would take a group of mothers whose children died in war in this country, and bring them to that land to share about the love of Jesus. It was almost more than I could fully comprehend. In the deaths of our children, God continues to fulfill his purpose.

We concluded by singing Amazing Grace. God was present with us in that gathering, His presence fell on us there. The bond and love between the Iraqi women and our moms, and the display of worship of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, was a moment no one could have imagined.

There was a different “feel” as we left Lake Dukan. Our American delegation all in one bus, sang, laughed and danced (yes danced in the aisle of the bus) all the way back to town.

Our day at Lake Dukan was one that God had placed on the agenda, a divine appointment. God touched each one of us that day, in the most unlikely way, in the most unlikely place, and no one would ever be the same.

South Carolina Mom Sheila shares her
thoughts with the group

Amy and Sheila after the
communion service

South Carolina Moms Jane, Emily
and Utah Mom, Amy at Lake Dukan

Our Week in Iraq, an Overview

When we went to Iraq, The Gold Star Mothers were unsure of what to expect.We were told we would do service projects, work one on one with the people, unite women from the U.S. with Iraqi women, help the orphans and widows, and teach about service and volunteerism. A pretty tall order and all of it undefined. My hope was to quietly get into the country and do something that was meaningful for the people, and get out. My idea was to “blend in” as much as possible as to not alert too many people of our presence. We did anything but blend in. We were big news in Iraq, with high level and high profile events the entire week. TV cameras awaited us everywhere we went.There was a groundswell of excitement over our visit and genuine love and gratitude for our son’s sacrifice in their country. We were honored guests in Iraq.

Our visit centered around the Kurdish city of Suliamaniyh in the north. The Kurds were heavily persecuted by Saddam Hussein and they are especially grateful for all the American’s have done for them. The area is considered quite safe as compared to other parts of Iraq. Little in the way of insurgent attacks take place there. However we were given a large security detail, a few with our group and the others were local Iraqi security agents and all were outstanding.

Kurdish, Sunni and Shia women from various parts of Iraq joined us and spent most of the week with us. Over the week, we grew close to these women for we shared a common bond. Whether through the brutal regime of Saddam Hussein or from the insurgent attacks that followed, these women had lost loved ones. Many women shared stories in which as many as eight men from their family, brothers, fathers, children, husbands had been killed or simply vanished, never to be heard from again. Because these situations are not all that uncommon in Iraq, very large numbers of women have been left without men, and must provide for their families on their own. Boys taken by the regime, left a population of girls growing up who would have no one to marry as the female population was much larger than the male population.

The goal of Families United Toward Universal Respect (FUTURE) who hosted the trip, is to empower women in Iraq by teaching self reliance, networking with other women, and volunteerism by bringing women from the United States and Iraq together who have suffered similar loss and share a common goal.While working with the women throughout the week, we attended conferences where women who were widowed and knew loss, told their stories and expressed their deep gratitude for the sacrifice our children had made in their country, for them. Repeatedly our fallen sons were referred to as their martyrs. They considered our sons as their own and tried to convey their deep love for these young men and women who were willing to sacrifice so much to liberate their people. The bond formed between the Gold Star Mothers and the Iraqi women was deep, strong and lasting. As mothers whose children died in their land helping free and stabilize their nation, our common goal was the success of their nation and their people. Our sons did all they could do, now mothers working with mothers to help strengthen their communities, was the next logical step.

Together we spent time in the cancer hospital visiting with children in treatment. Cancer rates high due to chemicals that were used by Saddam Hussein to attack the people. Some time was spent determining the medical needs, and ways both American and Iraqi women could help the hospital and the people in need. A visit to the maternity hospital revealed significant needs of common medications that could save the lives of premature babies. Iraqis do not pay for their medical services as it is all provided by the government, and sadly many basic needs are lacking. Infant kits and baby blankets were distributed at this stop. The Women’s Center, a place where women can go for counseling, family planning, legal services, shelter or whatever needs or crisis they are facing, was our next stop. While women in Iraq face some needs similar to American women in crisis, they face many other issues that thankfully American women will never deal with. We left supplies that had been gathered in the U.S. for the Iraqi women and came away with specific needs the center has and ways American women can help.

Halabjah. Is the site of Saddam Hussein’s 1988 chemical weapons bombing in which 5,000 people were killed in five minutes. Although I’d seen pictures and knew of the attack, it was overwhelming to be in the exact place where it all happened. We saw horrific pictures of men, women and children lying dead in the streets. We visited the graveyard where the victims are buried, saw the mass graves, and the families sections in which several members of a single family were buried. We also had the chance to meet a few people who had survived the attack. Again, deep love and appreciation was showed to our Gold Star Moms not only for coming, but for the sacrifices made by our children to rid them of the man who had perpetrated this evil upon them.

Many in America still debate the need for the U.S. going into Iraq in 2003.Standing in the place, and seeing the documentation of the horror inflicted on humanity, I believe the world is a safer place because of the efforts of the U.S. Military and a government willing to do what needed done.

As we left Iraq we were relieved as there were a few times our safety was in question. But we came away with a new understanding for the country, the culture and the people who had benefited from the U.S. presence in Iraq and more specifically, our son’s sacrifice. As mother’s of sons who had died in this land, we would now carry on by helping the people strengthen their communities and ultimately, their nation.

George W. Bush Back in Salt Lake

Former President George W. Bush came to Salt Lake City yesterday on his book signing tour. Well over a thousand people lined up to get a signed copy of the book and meet the former president. Some even camped out overnight as to ensure entrance to the 1:00 – 3:00pm book signing at a local Costco store. The line wrapped around the building, but no one seemed to mind the long wait.

As people came out of the store with their autographed copy of the just released book, many were beaming with excitement over their encounter with President Bush. His down to earth personality, wittiness, and ability to connect with everyday people endeared him to their hearts. Even in a brief encounter, one is able to see the sincerity of this man.

A group of about six protesters held their position across the parking lot. One protester held a sign stating Bush killed more people in Iraq than Saddam Hussein did. Being the mother of Marine killed in Iraq, and having just returned from Iraq myself, I nearly had to be restrained. I wanted to jump into the middle of that group of protesters and put them in their place. Having heard first hand accounts of the evil and brutality of Saddam Hussein, the executions, and his barbaric savagery from the people that lived under his reign, I could hardly contain myself. I recalled conversation with Iraqis about Al Qaeda training camps there how Saddam had worked so closely with them. My visit to the city where thousands were gassed by Saddam Hussein’s men, and having stood before mass graves which contained the remains of hundreds of people he had killed, was still fresh in my mind. And somehow Bush is the bad guy.

Rocky Anderson mayor of Salt Lake City from 2000 – 2008 once again held an anti-Bush rally. This time his defiant crowd numbered less than twenty people. Anderson never passed up an opportunity to protest President Bush and even had the audacity to lead an anti-Bush/anti-war protest in his official capacity as mayor, as my son’s funeral was underway in August of 2006.

The decency of George W. Bush, his integrity, depth of character and his ability to lead in tough times, is what I will always admire and respect about him. One on one time President Bush spent with our family the day after we buried our son, revealed a sincere and courageous man, and one who had been able to make the difficult decisions, knowing the consequences those decisions would have on families like mine. As a father himself, he clearly recognized our pain and reached out to love and comfort us.

I miss George Bush the man and George Bush the president. He was the right man at the right time in history. Thank you President Bush, for having the courage and integrity to lead our nation. It was nice to have you back in Salt Lake City.

It's My Turn to Make Adam Proud

My son went to Iraq to defend our liberty and help free and stabilize a nation. About five months into his deployment two Marines were at my door telling me my son had been killed by an IED. Four years later it would be my turn to “serve”.

I, and three other Utah Gold Star Moms (mothers whose sons died in military service during war time), will go on a “humanitarian and healing mission” to Northern Iraq in late September. We will join other Gold Star Moms from South Carolina through the organization FUTURE. Our sons helped free and stabilize a nation, now its our turn to reach out to families, and specifically the women of Iraq who, like us are mothers, and like us have lost loved ones.

Our mission is to connect with the women, families, and orphans in the region. We will work side by side with Iraqi women and participate in service projects to impact the lives of those our sons gave so much for. But to me, it means so much more.

Three weeks before my son Adam was killed in Iraq, he was injured in an attack that killed four other Marines. While recovering from his injuries we spent many hours on the phone together. In one conversation he said “Mom, there’s a reason I’m alive. I should have died too”. Because my husband Tony and I always had a feeing that there was something different about Adam, and that he would someday accomplish something “big”, I agreed with him and said “yes, God has a special purpose for your life”. In following conversations we always spoke of his “special purpose” and each time I reminded Adam to pray about what God had for him to do, and he agreed. A few short weeks later, Adam was dead.

As a Marine Officer stood in my living room and read the “casualty report” my thoughts went to Adam’s special purpose. In my mind I said “Lord, what about his special purpose?” Despite the devastation I was facing I knew God had a plan and He was working in the situation.

As the years have unfolded I have seen God’s plan at work in my life and in the lives of others. I am not the same person I was four years ago. The heartbreaking news of my son’s death threw me into the arms of God and not away from Him. I now have opportunities to share the love of Christ everywhere I go, when before that was not the case. We’ve seen God move in the lives of other people because of Adam’s life and death. Even in death Adam was reaching people.

Because I pray to stay in God’s will and in the plan He has for my life, I look at opportunities that arise as a chance to walk in God’s plan. Being one of a few Gold Star Moms invited to go to the country where my son died and reach out to the people there, made me seriously think about what God was doing. Could it be in His plan for me to go to Iraq? Could it be part of Adam’s special purpose? What would God’s purpose be for sending me there as opposed to someone else? I don’t know the answers to those questions. However, after months of prayer I decided to walk through the doors God has opened. I feel inadequate to be an ambassador for Him. I’m nothing without Him. But because Christ lives in me, where I go, He goes, and that's good enough for me. Proverbs 16:9 tells us that we can plan our own course, but the Lord determines our steps. I’m looking forward to fulfilling an opportunity that God has placed before me. I’m grateful that He is in charge and that He will direct my steps.

I ask that you would pray for God’s purpose to be fulfilled in this trip, and that you would keep each of the four Gold Star Moms in prayer as we take this journey. I know this trip will open a wellspring of emotions for me as I visit the country where Adam spent the last days of his life. I knew how much Adam wanted to make his parents proud, now it’s my turn to make Adam proud.

Read more about this journey at www.utahmomsiniraq.org
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