Gold Star Moms Prepare for Journey to Iraq

The following eight posts tell the story of our Gold Star Mother's trip to Iraq

In my wildest imagination I never saw myself on the ground in Iraq, but that is indeed what is about to happen. With a little over a week to go, I and several other Gold Star Moms are frantically gathering our supplies and attending to the last minute details before we assemble at Salt Lake International Airport and begin our journey. We will join the other Gold Star Mothers and the staff of FUTURE who is hosting the trip, in Atlanta, and head off to the land where our sons served.

Our trip will include service projects to benefit Iraqi widows, orphans, hospital patients and the physically handicapped. We will be working with Utah based Operation Give to make and distribute aid kits, along with children’s educational and activity packs, as well as providing assistance to the Iraqi women in completing projects in their community.

Our travels will take us to the site of worst chemical attack in history. The 1988 chemical weapons attack by Saddam Hussein’s army killed 5,000 men, women and children. There, we will meet the town’s people and survivors of the gruesome attack. We’ll also spend time distributing supplies and activity packages in the community.

Cultural and social exchanges will be part of the week’s events as we get to know and understand the people our sons fought for.

As mother’s who’ve lost sons at war, we are uniquely privileged to have the opportunity to visit the nation our son’s gave so much for. As their moms, we count it an honor to do what we can for Iraq in light of all our sons did.

Follow our progress as we make final preparations and embark on this life changing journey. I have no doubt I will come back a different person, not only because of the experiences I will have and the people I will meet, but also because I will be in the country where my son spent the last days of his life. I'll have visited the land where a piece of my heart will remain forever.

Into Iraq

Our journey began on Sept 23^rd as we assembled at Salt Lake International airport. Jan Moncur, Colleen Parkin and me Amy Galvez were going to Iraq, the nation in which our sons served and ultimately died. Carol Young was originally scheduled for the trip, but due to a lack of funding, was unable to go. Joining us was Salt Lake Tribune reporter Matthew LaPlante, whose job it was to chronicle the story of Utah Gold Star Moms in Iraq, on our humanitarian and healing mission to the Iraqi women. However Matthew, as it turned out would watch over “his Utah Moms” and attend to our concerns and needs, easing any apprehension we may have had.

We met up with the rest of our group in Atlanta. In all our group of eighteen consisted of three Gold Star Mothers from Utah, seven from South Carolina, a Chaplain, two staff from the Organizing group FUTURE (Families United Toward Universal Respect) and our security team. After a security briefing we were on our way to Paris, then Amman, Jordan, then finally on to city of Sulaymaniyah in northern Iraq.

The 36 hour trip was grueling but excitement remained high throughout our travels. When the pilot announced “we will be entering Iraqi airspace in three minutes” it was surreal. I was really going to Iraq. My emotions ran the gamut as I realized we would fly relatively close to the town in which my son died. I wondered what my son Adam would think. Who would have imagined that four years after his death I would be on the ground in the county where war took his life. I also considered the danger. But after getting my initial exposure to the middle east by spending several hours in Amman, Jodan, many of my fears were alleviated and I was ready to enter Iraq.

I was overwhelmed at touch down. We were really on the ground in Iraq. I was almost in disbelief that it was real. This is where my son spent the last days of his life, and now, I was there. Our group was met by a delegation of Iraqi women and other officials who expedited us through customs, and transported us to our hotel. Driving through the city I saw many scenes that reminded me of a hundreds of photos we had from my son’s time in Iraq. Other areas looked progressive. Development and progress was evident everywhere.

Uncertain of what our hotel accommodations would actually be like, we were pleasantly surprised to find a nice, somewhat clean room with hot and cold running water, a bathroom, comfortable beds and air conditioning.

Without a moment of rest, we assembled in the lobby waiting for our instructions, as none of us knew why our presence had been required. Our security team in whom we’d all gained confidence, announced our security would now be under the control of six Iraqi men in dark suits, sunglasses, and earpieces in their ears, resembling secret service or something similar, and we were to go with these men . I must admit, I was a bit nervous. They escorted us outside to the rear of the hotel where there were several SUV’s, and some police vehicles with doors open and a bustle of activity around them. Our group boarded two small busses which abruptly took off behind several SUV’s with the lead police vehicle with lights and sirens on. I finally realized we were part of a motorcade, but the moms did not know where we were going. After about a ten minute drive through town, we arrived at the headquarters of the Patriotic Union of Kurdistan. There we passed a long procession of Iraqi women and other dignitaries who greeting each one of us. We were ushered into a beautiful room with a large ringed oval table and plush green velvet chairs where we were seated. About forty people filled the room with many standing or sitting along the wall. We were addressed by the leader of the Patriotic Union of Kurdistan (PUK), and several Iraqi women. The expressed deep appreciation for our visit to Iraq, TV cameras shot video, and hundreds of photos were taken.

Our VIP treatment continued at the conclusion of the address as we then escorted to a feast. Enormous amounts of many varieties of Iraqi cuisine filled the table which was about thirty feet in length. The food was exceptional and truly was a feast.

After the meal I visited with an Iraqi women who brought me to tears as she thanked me for my son helping free them from Saddam Hussein. She had survived the 1988 chemical weapons attack by Saddam’s regime which killed 5,000 men, women and children. Then later her husband was brutally killed by the regime. This women personally suffered under Saddam Hussein and lost many family members under his dictatorship. I was speechless as listened to her story. Her gratitude for my son’s sacrifice and the hard work and sacrifices by the U.S. Military could not be adequately put into words.

I had been in Iraq for less than three hours and I was already changed in the most profound way. I had made a connection to people who existed a half a world away on the evening news. But they were real, and this was only the beginning of my eyes being opened to the reality of suffering of the Iraqi and how much our military has done for them. I already looked forward to what lay ahead later that day and in the coming week. This truly would be a life changing experience and I knew without a doubt that I was supposed to be here.

Women's Leadership Conference in Iraq

It’s Sunday night here in Iraq, completing two days in country for the Gold Star Mothers. I’ll start by giving information on our conditions here in Iraq as several people have asked about it. Then I will share a few details of today’s events.

The temperature is in the high 90’s during the day and 80’s at night, so it is more comfortable than I was preparing for. Many places have air conditioning to some extent. Others however, do not. Today we attended a conference with hundreds of people and no working a/c. We got through it though! The elevators in our hotel work sporadically. Stepping into them is a risk. Our room is not actually on the seventh floor but we must walk up sevenflights of stairs to reach our room if we do not use the elevator. We have a heavy security presence.We often travel by motorcade with several security vehicles leading and bringing up the rear. We took time out before dinner tonight to do some shopping. A security detail was needed to take thirteen women shopping! We made them work hard on that outing as they not only had to track each one of us, but also assist in with our purchases helping us make the dollar/dinar conversion. Most of our women were prepared to not eat much on this trip either due to availability of food or concerns of getting sick from what we might eat. However, our organizers preselected the places we would eat as to reduce the risk of getting sick. The food in northern Iraq is outstanding and is offered in large quantities, often. The languages spoken here are Arabic, Kurdish and some English. Many of the Iraqis we are with speak enough English to communicate and there are plenty of people to serve as interpreters. Now on to today’s events.

Today we attended the Women’s Leadership Conference with women from various areas in Iraq, many of whom we’ve spent the last two days with. In attendance were leaders from Women for FUTURE Iraq, dignitaries, The First Lady of Iraq, U.S. Army Gen. Vandal, CW04 Holton from Utah and several U.S. Soldiers, State Dept representative and many others. Along with all the attendees, the auditorium was filled with security and news cameras.

Speeches were made by Mrs. Talabani, Gen. Vandal and many others. During Gen. Vandal’s address, much to my surprise, he told my son’s story. “21 year old Marine Cpl. Adam Galvez injured in a suicide bomb, buried alive under a collapsed building, attempting to rescue other Marines while taking gun fire from the enemy, and returning to duty only to be killed by an IED". As he expounded on the details he made clear the sacrifices that have been made by brave young Americans. I was in awe of the situation, that four years after Adam’s death in Iraq, I sat in a conference in Iraq where an Army general told his story to American and Iraqi dignitaries and Iraqi people trying to rebuild and secure their future.

The messages of the Iraqi women had a similar theme. They suffered greatly under Saddam Hussein and they were freed from his torture and brutality by the Americans. Words were not enough to express their gratitude of all that had been done for them. The traditional kisses, and hugs and tears spoke more than words could have. They were grateful for the bond the Gold Star Mothers now shared with them.

“We grieve for your sons as they were our own, because they are part of us and now and you are part of us”, one women said. They spoke of the progress being made by Iraqi women and the need to learn the American’s way of networking women together in service and support of one another. Women sharing and networking together is not common among Iraqi women as it is in the U.S. The women are learning from our examples and support, how to serve one another.

During Saddam Hussein’s regime, many women were widowed as their men were executed or simply vanished without a trace. Many of the women spoke of fathers, brothers, husbands of the same family being killed by Hussein or by insurgents, leaving huge numbers of women without men. If not widowed, there were no men to marry, leaving far too many women to survive on their own. It broke my heart, as over dinner a women told me of her father, four brothers and fiancé being executed. She said when the government took their men and killed them, the women were not permitted to cry. If they were caught crying, they would be arrested for sympathizing with a traitor. This woman’s mother locked herself in one room of their house for three months following her husband’s death so she could grieve without being caught. She again expressed her gratitude for all the U.S. Military has done for them and thanked me for my son’s sacrifice for their freedom.

In the past two days, I’ve seen the deeply compassionate and grateful hearts of women who have suffered and are now moving towards a brighter future. A bond has been formed and every Gold Star Mother in our group has been affected in the most profound way. We are blessed to be here with these remarkable women and look forward to spending the next few days with them.

Utah Gold Star Moms with

Mrs. Talabani, The First Lady of Iraq.

Halabjah

The city of Halabjah is about a 90 minute drive from our location, through countryside on narrow roads, and only seven miles from the Iranian border. It is the site of Saddam Hussein’s 1988 chemical weapons bombing in which 5,000 people were killed within five minutes of the bombs dropping. Our vehicles moved through the tiny streets of this run down, poverty stricken town and was a spectacle in which people stopped and stared as we passed by. Our arrival at the memorial site was somewhat unnerving. Unlike any time before, our security detail now carried submachine guns. News and video cameras were everywhere. Many people, mostly men in suits, were awaiting our arrival. Our security briefed us on exactly how to move once we left the bus. We followed every order that was given as we felt our safety was at risk.

The museum was filled with photos and displays of the dead lying in the streets following the attack of twenty two years ago. Men, women, children, babies, the elderly, animals all lay dead. Photos of the dead were taken by Saddam’s men to prove the weapons had been effective. Copies of those photos lined the walls and were heartbreaking. Mother and baby lying dead in the street as she tried to shield her baby from death. The back of a pick up truck filled with children trying to escape the planes dropping the bombs. They did not escaped. As I was looking at this photo, a man standing in front of me pointed to himself, then pointed to the picture. He said, “me”. Another man who spoke broken English confirmed what I believed the man to be saying. The man standing before me had been one of the children in that truck, the only survivor. “He laid in that truck for two days” the man said until he was rescued by Iranians. As I moved on, a video showed a young boy who survived the attack but was covered in blisters. As I watched, a man standing beside me looked at me, pointed to himself then pointed back to the video. This man was the child in the video. Others stood at the memorial where a listing of names of the dead showed several names from a single family all grouped together. One man pointed to a group of ten names, all those of his family. He had been the only survivor.

We moved to the graveyard where the victims for the chemical bombings were buried. Those who were not identified were buried in mass graves which contained 1,500 bodies or more. The rest were buried in a single grave with a headstone. Little fences and various kinds of bordering denoted multiple graves of people from the same family. The Gold Star Mothers laid flowers at the base of the “Mother’s Monument” in the graveyard, and listened to the survivors tell their stories and express their gratitude that our sons helped rid their county of the man who had done this to them. The sincere connection they seemed to feel with us touched our hearts. With most of us in tears, one by one, a pin representing the monument and tribute to 5,000 killed was pinned on us by the survivors.

Still aware of the presence of heavy fire power, video taping, and obvious potential safety risk, at the conclusion of the ceremony, our group of Gold Star Moms, Iraqi moms, and others quickly moved as instructed by security, back to our bus.

How do you sort out all the emotions after what we had just experienced? 5,000 dead in the streets, the photos, the graves, the survivors and the overwhelming realization that our U.S. Military got rid of the man who had done this. All the Gold Star Mothers felt pride in knowing our children helped liberate these people and give them hope for the future.

An Evening with The First Lady of Iraq

One special evening during our trip to Iraq was spent at the home of President and Mrs. Talabani. Mrs. Talabani, the First Lady of Iraq, hosted a dinner for the Gold Star Mothers who were visiting from the U.S., along with the women from Baghdad that we spent the week with. The day before, Mrs. Talabani had Tradition Kurdish dresses made of each woman in our group. The men were also provided with traditional Kurdish clothing. Dressed for the occasion, we arrived at the home of Mrs. Talabani. The First Lady of Iraq provided a bountiful dinner for our group. During dinner Mrs. Talabani told stories of hiding out from Saddam Hussein in the hills of Northern Iraq. She recounted the events of one night in particular when she heard the sound of incoming fire and exploding bombs while remaining in black out conditions. The next morning they found and unexploded bomb in the entrance of the structure they had sought shelter in. She also spoke of the chemical bombings by Saddam’s men on the Kurds and the fight to stay alive as he inflicted death and destruction the people. Mrs. Talabani’s genuine gratitude for all the U.S. Military had done for her country could not be overstated.

Following dinner, Mrs. Talabani presented each Gold Star Mother with and elegant crystal award engraved with this beautiful message. “Our eternal gratitude to the mothers who raised the bravest of children, who dedicated their lives to the liberation of other nations…… (signed) A Mother” This is something I will cherish forever as it is from the heart of one mother to another.

A time of socializing with Mrs. Talabani and the Iraqi women in our group we now considered dear friends was had, along with a surprise birthday celebration for our Utah Gold Star Mom Colleen Parkin. Mrs. Talabani provided four pink birthday cakes (pink being Colleen’s trademark color) and the group sang Happy Birthday to Colleen in English, Kurdish and Arabic.

This evening with Mrs. Talabani was uplifting and heartwarming. Her love and gratitude for us and our children who had died in her country, fighting for their liberation, was sincere and genuine. She was a mother reaching out to the hearts other mothers.

The repeated theme of the week which for me was completely unexpected, was love and gratitude for all our sons and daughters had done for the people of Iraq. They them as their own, and now the mother’s of those remarkable American Warriors were also loved by the people of Iraq.

Mrs. Talabani with the Joan Betros the President of FUTURE

Mrs. Talabani presenting a gift to
South Carolina Gold Star Mother Ann Hampton

Mrs. Talabani and Utah Gold Star Mother
Colleen Parkin at the birthday celebration

Birthday Party!

Utah group Amy Galvez, Colleen Parkin, Jan Moncur

and Matthew LaPlante

Read more about Hero Talabani in this 2006 Kurd net story.

Things Were Not as They Seemed.

Although we felt fairly safe in Iraq, there were some tense moments on this trip. Life in Iraq is very different than what we are used to in the U.S. Machine guns are a common sight and go mostly unnoticed by the locals. The sound of gunshots are heard from time to time. Buildings riddled with bullet holes are seen here and there and the periodic sound of a distant explosion doesn’t seem to startle anyone but visitors.

Upon arriving in Iraq we were told by our security to stay highly aware of our surrounds, always stay with our assigned partner, and listen to our security detail and do exactly as they say. Doug the head of our security team emphasized the importance of paying attention to our "gut". If something didn’t feel right, it's probably for good reason. Our security was always on top of things and we had complete confidence in their ability to keep us safe.

One evening, those feelings of safety gave way to apprehension, concern, and finally fear. We boarded our buses and set out for dinner. No one in our group, including our security was aware of what was in store for us that evening . We arrived at a heavily guarded compound and were welcomed in high style. Video cameras captured our every move, but we had become somewhat accustomed to that as cameras seemed to be present everywhere we went. During the reception it came to light that things were not as they seemed. Although dinner was uneventful, there was a growing sense that something wasn't right. The enormous presence of firepower and guards at the compound was concerning because our security did not have any visible weapons and were completely outnumbered. We were feeling increasingly uncomfortable.

Following dinner we were escorted to an area of the compound where a religious ritual was to take place. It was a ritual of violence inflicted on adults and children. Violent acts were committed right in front of us as others recorded our reactions on video. We were helpless to do anything but sit there and watch. What if we had the “wrong” reaction? What if we tried to leave? What if we tried to stop them from hurting one of the kids? None of us was willing to risk making the wrong move. Many of us prayed quietly as the mutilations continued. After nearly two hours of being subjected to watching this “ritual”, it became clearer as to why we were there.Their purpose for having us there was to show us what violent and terrible things can be done, yet their god Allah will protect them. They actually seemed to be proud and showing off in a very disturbing way.

After a very long evening we were permitted to leave. We were shocked by what we saw that night. Part of what seemed so sad was the children being brought up in this violence and conditioned for these types of rituals. In Iraq there is no “child protective services” to swoop in and remove children from a dangerous environment.

The events of the that night gave way to an unexpected and joyful day that would continue to bond the women together. The love of the God of the Bible would be evident in sharp contrast to the violence of Allah, the god of Islam.

A Divine Appointment at Lake Dukan

One afternoon was set aside for time of quiet reflection and a memorial service for our sons and daughters who had been killed in the Iraq war. Was another memorial service really what we needed? I wanted to be accomplishing concrete work with the Iraqi people, not memorializing my son, as much of that had already been done. Little did I know this day may have been the most important day of our time in Iraq.

We arrived at Lake Dukan, an exclusive resort in northern Iraq. Overlooking the lake and the nearby hills, the mothers had a nice lunch and a quite time of visiting with one another and reflecting on our children and all that had happened.

Our Chaplain offered to provide communion for any who would like to participate. A group of six moved to a secluded alcove to proceed with our service. Each one felt the presence of God fall on us in that place. We sang, worshiped the Lord and received communion. The moment was surreal as I thought of my son and his brutal death in this Muslim land, and now I was here, worshiping the Lord. From August of 2006 to September of 2010, what amazing things God had done, to bring us to this moment. As we concluded our worship and communion service we looked up to see our Iraqi friends (Iraqi women and others we had spent the week with) gathered all around, watching us worship of our Lord.

We ended our day with our Moms, Iraqi friends and others gathered outside in a large circle. Each mother was given time to speak about her son, reflect, or give a bible verse that was special to them. Each mother took a few moments. This was a once in a lifetime opportunity to share with the Iraqis, what God had done for me. I took my place in front of the group and shared about the Lord, His love and all He has done. Again, a moment that was unfathomable four years ago. To think God would take a group of mothers whose children died in war in this country, and bring them to that land to share about the love of Jesus. It was almost more than I could fully comprehend. In the deaths of our children, God continues to fulfill his purpose.

We concluded by singing Amazing Grace. God was present with us in that gathering, His presence fell on us there. The bond and love between the Iraqi women and our moms, and the display of worship of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, was a moment no one could have imagined.

There was a different “feel” as we left Lake Dukan. Our American delegation all in one bus, sang, laughed and danced (yes danced in the aisle of the bus) all the way back to town.

Our day at Lake Dukan was one that God had placed on the agenda, a divine appointment. God touched each one of us that day, in the most unlikely way, in the most unlikely place, and no one would ever be the same.

South Carolina Mom Sheila shares her
thoughts with the group

Amy and Sheila after the
communion service

South Carolina Moms Jane, Emily
and Utah Mom, Amy at Lake Dukan

Our Week in Iraq, an Overview

When we went to Iraq, The Gold Star Mothers were unsure of what to expect.We were told we would do service projects, work one on one with the people, unite women from the U.S. with Iraqi women, help the orphans and widows, and teach about service and volunteerism. A pretty tall order and all of it undefined. My hope was to quietly get into the country and do something that was meaningful for the people, and get out. My idea was to “blend in” as much as possible as to not alert too many people of our presence. We did anything but blend in. We were big news in Iraq, with high level and high profile events the entire week. TV cameras awaited us everywhere we went.There was a groundswell of excitement over our visit and genuine love and gratitude for our son’s sacrifice in their country. We were honored guests in Iraq.

Our visit centered around the Kurdish city of Suliamaniyh in the north. The Kurds were heavily persecuted by Saddam Hussein and they are especially grateful for all the American’s have done for them. The area is considered quite safe as compared to other parts of Iraq. Little in the way of insurgent attacks take place there. However we were given a large security detail, a few with our group and the others were local Iraqi security agents and all were outstanding.

Kurdish, Sunni and Shia women from various parts of Iraq joined us and spent most of the week with us. Over the week, we grew close to these women for we shared a common bond. Whether through the brutal regime of Saddam Hussein or from the insurgent attacks that followed, these women had lost loved ones. Many women shared stories in which as many as eight men from their family, brothers, fathers, children, husbands had been killed or simply vanished, never to be heard from again. Because these situations are not all that uncommon in Iraq, very large numbers of women have been left without men, and must provide for their families on their own. Boys taken by the regime, left a population of girls growing up who would have no one to marry as the female population was much larger than the male population.

The goal of Families United Toward Universal Respect (FUTURE) who hosted the trip, is to empower women in Iraq by teaching self reliance, networking with other women, and volunteerism by bringing women from the United States and Iraq together who have suffered similar loss and share a common goal.While working with the women throughout the week, we attended conferences where women who were widowed and knew loss, told their stories and expressed their deep gratitude for the sacrifice our children had made in their country, for them. Repeatedly our fallen sons were referred to as their martyrs. They considered our sons as their own and tried to convey their deep love for these young men and women who were willing to sacrifice so much to liberate their people. The bond formed between the Gold Star Mothers and the Iraqi women was deep, strong and lasting. As mothers whose children died in their land helping free and stabilize their nation, our common goal was the success of their nation and their people. Our sons did all they could do, now mothers working with mothers to help strengthen their communities, was the next logical step.

Together we spent time in the cancer hospital visiting with children in treatment. Cancer rates high due to chemicals that were used by Saddam Hussein to attack the people. Some time was spent determining the medical needs, and ways both American and Iraqi women could help the hospital and the people in need. A visit to the maternity hospital revealed significant needs of common medications that could save the lives of premature babies. Iraqis do not pay for their medical services as it is all provided by the government, and sadly many basic needs are lacking. Infant kits and baby blankets were distributed at this stop. The Women’s Center, a place where women can go for counseling, family planning, legal services, shelter or whatever needs or crisis they are facing, was our next stop. While women in Iraq face some needs similar to American women in crisis, they face many other issues that thankfully American women will never deal with. We left supplies that had been gathered in the U.S. for the Iraqi women and came away with specific needs the center has and ways American women can help.

Halabjah. Is the site of Saddam Hussein’s 1988 chemical weapons bombing in which 5,000 people were killed in five minutes. Although I’d seen pictures and knew of the attack, it was overwhelming to be in the exact place where it all happened. We saw horrific pictures of men, women and children lying dead in the streets. We visited the graveyard where the victims are buried, saw the mass graves, and the families sections in which several members of a single family were buried. We also had the chance to meet a few people who had survived the attack. Again, deep love and appreciation was showed to our Gold Star Moms not only for coming, but for the sacrifices made by our children to rid them of the man who had perpetrated this evil upon them.

Many in America still debate the need for the U.S. going into Iraq in 2003.Standing in the place, and seeing the documentation of the horror inflicted on humanity, I believe the world is a safer place because of the efforts of the U.S. Military and a government willing to do what needed done.

As we left Iraq we were relieved as there were a few times our safety was in question. But we came away with a new understanding for the country, the culture and the people who had benefited from the U.S. presence in Iraq and more specifically, our son’s sacrifice. As mother’s of sons who had died in this land, we would now carry on by helping the people strengthen their communities and ultimately, their nation.

George W. Bush Back in Salt Lake

Former President George W. Bush came to Salt Lake City yesterday on his book signing tour. Well over a thousand people lined up to get a signed copy of the book and meet the former president. Some even camped out overnight as to ensure entrance to the 1:00 – 3:00pm book signing at a local Costco store. The line wrapped around the building, but no one seemed to mind the long wait.

As people came out of the store with their autographed copy of the just released book, many were beaming with excitement over their encounter with President Bush. His down to earth personality, wittiness, and ability to connect with everyday people endeared him to their hearts. Even in a brief encounter, one is able to see the sincerity of this man.

A group of about six protesters held their position across the parking lot. One protester held a sign stating Bush killed more people in Iraq than Saddam Hussein did. Being the mother of Marine killed in Iraq, and having just returned from Iraq myself, I nearly had to be restrained. I wanted to jump into the middle of that group of protesters and put them in their place. Having heard first hand accounts of the evil and brutality of Saddam Hussein, the executions, and his barbaric savagery from the people that lived under his reign, I could hardly contain myself. I recalled conversation with Iraqis about Al Qaeda training camps there how Saddam had worked so closely with them. My visit to the city where thousands were gassed by Saddam Hussein’s men, and having stood before mass graves which contained the remains of hundreds of people he had killed, was still fresh in my mind. And somehow Bush is the bad guy.

Rocky Anderson mayor of Salt Lake City from 2000 – 2008 once again held an anti-Bush rally. This time his defiant crowd numbered less than twenty people. Anderson never passed up an opportunity to protest President Bush and even had the audacity to lead an anti-Bush/anti-war protest in his official capacity as mayor, as my son’s funeral was underway in August of 2006.

The decency of George W. Bush, his integrity, depth of character and his ability to lead in tough times, is what I will always admire and respect about him. One on one time President Bush spent with our family the day after we buried our son, revealed a sincere and courageous man, and one who had been able to make the difficult decisions, knowing the consequences those decisions would have on families like mine. As a father himself, he clearly recognized our pain and reached out to love and comfort us.

I miss George Bush the man and George Bush the president. He was the right man at the right time in history. Thank you President Bush, for having the courage and integrity to lead our nation. It was nice to have you back in Salt Lake City.

It's My Turn to Make Adam Proud

My son went to Iraq to defend our liberty and help free and stabilize a nation. About five months into his deployment two Marines were at my door telling me my son had been killed by an IED. Four years later it would be my turn to “serve”.

I, and three other Utah Gold Star Moms (mothers whose sons died in military service during war time), will go on a “humanitarian and healing mission” to Northern Iraq in late September. We will join other Gold Star Moms from South Carolina through the organization FUTURE. Our sons helped free and stabilize a nation, now its our turn to reach out to families, and specifically the women of Iraq who, like us are mothers, and like us have lost loved ones.

Our mission is to connect with the women, families, and orphans in the region. We will work side by side with Iraqi women and participate in service projects to impact the lives of those our sons gave so much for. But to me, it means so much more.

Three weeks before my son Adam was killed in Iraq, he was injured in an attack that killed four other Marines. While recovering from his injuries we spent many hours on the phone together. In one conversation he said “Mom, there’s a reason I’m alive. I should have died too”. Because my husband Tony and I always had a feeing that there was something different about Adam, and that he would someday accomplish something “big”, I agreed with him and said “yes, God has a special purpose for your life”. In following conversations we always spoke of his “special purpose” and each time I reminded Adam to pray about what God had for him to do, and he agreed. A few short weeks later, Adam was dead.

As a Marine Officer stood in my living room and read the “casualty report” my thoughts went to Adam’s special purpose. In my mind I said “Lord, what about his special purpose?” Despite the devastation I was facing I knew God had a plan and He was working in the situation.

As the years have unfolded I have seen God’s plan at work in my life and in the lives of others. I am not the same person I was four years ago. The heartbreaking news of my son’s death threw me into the arms of God and not away from Him. I now have opportunities to share the love of Christ everywhere I go, when before that was not the case. We’ve seen God move in the lives of other people because of Adam’s life and death. Even in death Adam was reaching people.

Because I pray to stay in God’s will and in the plan He has for my life, I look at opportunities that arise as a chance to walk in God’s plan. Being one of a few Gold Star Moms invited to go to the country where my son died and reach out to the people there, made me seriously think about what God was doing. Could it be in His plan for me to go to Iraq? Could it be part of Adam’s special purpose? What would God’s purpose be for sending me there as opposed to someone else? I don’t know the answers to those questions. However, after months of prayer I decided to walk through the doors God has opened. I feel inadequate to be an ambassador for Him. I’m nothing without Him. But because Christ lives in me, where I go, He goes, and that's good enough for me. Proverbs 16:9 tells us that we can plan our own course, but the Lord determines our steps. I’m looking forward to fulfilling an opportunity that God has placed before me. I’m grateful that He is in charge and that He will direct my steps.

I ask that you would pray for God’s purpose to be fulfilled in this trip, and that you would keep each of the four Gold Star Moms in prayer as we take this journey. I know this trip will open a wellspring of emotions for me as I visit the country where Adam spent the last days of his life. I knew how much Adam wanted to make his parents proud, now it’s my turn to make Adam proud.

Read more about this journey at www.utahmomsiniraq.org
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Complacency Kills

I’ve never felt as hopeless about the future of our nation and our freedom as I feel today. With a congress and a president treating our constitution as an inconvenience, and their daily assault on the American way of life, I wonder what will be left to salvage in 2012.

I am a proud American, but I don’t think our president is. In fact, I believe President Obama has outright disdain for this nation and all it stands for. He apologizes for America, assaults capitalism, stifles economic growth, spends enormous amount of our money, bombards us with new regulations, imposes massive government control, hampers the war effort, refuses to deal with serious national security threats while diminishing our support for Israel, and the list goes on and on.

But the most telling action taken by President Obama was in the aftermath of the gulf oil spill, when he placed a six month moratorium on deep water drilling, seemingly without regard to the thousands upon thousands of jobs that would be lost and lives that would be ruined. Nor did he seem to be concerned with the economic chaos that would ensue because of his action. If an airliner crashes do we halt all air travel? How does this even make sense?

I believe that President Obama will stop at almost nothing to ram through his agenda to change America, economically, socially and globally. This sadly seems to extend to the war on terrorism. Many would argue, and I would agree, that President Obama’s objective in the war in Afghanistan is not victory. His delay in approving a request for more troops in Afghanistan last year underscored his lack of commitment to the war, victory, and the safety of our troops. Today’s ousting of General McChrystal looked more like a temper tantrum rather than a decision made in the best interest of America.

Jumping on my soap box for a minute, if we are not in Afghanistan to win, then bring the troops home and deal with the fallout later, and most likely on our homeland. Otherwise, let them do the job and come home victorious. Fighting a “nice war” doesn’t work, it only gets our troops killed and empowers the enemy. I think the change of command in Afghanistan today has only furthered the perception of a weakening America.

I’m an average American wife, mom and working woman. Having buried a son who was brutally killed on the battlefield serving this nation and preserving our freedom, I have to speak up. For the cost to our son and our family was too high to sit idly by and watch this country be dismantled one day at a time. While I’m still free to express my opinion, I’ll do it. I don’t have to justify my beliefs and you don’t have to like them, but I am free to express them, at least for now. I also believe that if the Obama Administration goes unchecked, we will soon see the day when people with opinions like mine will be silenced .

Outside of God and His hand of protection on America, this is how I see things. But God has blessed America, for our nation was founded on Him. Prayer changes things and we must be praying for our nation and our leaders. We must be involved and do all we can to preserve this nation and what it stands for, because it is under assault. Complacency kills. That’s a term I learned from my son. If we don’t heed that warnings and remain diligent, we will suffer the consequences.

It's Okay to Cry

I’ve seen a lot of Facebook postings from Gold Star Moms lately indicating that I am not the only one having a difficult time right now. For some it’s the anniversary date of their child’s death, for others it’s the fact that Mother’s Day is just around the corner. Maybe it’s for no reason at all. Whatever the cause, a lot of us moms seem to have heavy hearts right now.

The thing is, losing a child, although an adult, is not something you ever “get over”, no matter how much time passes. You progress and move forward, but the loss is part of every minute of every day. You just learn how to deal with it and accept it as “normal”. On this journey, the Lord has blessed me and provided me with the most incredible support network. I know I never have to carry this burden alone.But for some reason right now, I want to carry it. For some reason I want to feel the pain, the loss, and the grief.

My son was killed in a massive fiery explosion. If I could fully comprehend what really happened to him, I don’t think I could survive. God loves us so much that He protects us, takes the pain for us, and surrounds us with others to help carry the heavy load. I have relied on that; God’s love, His blessings, His people. I have been able to focus on the good that came, and continues to come from something so horrible. But right now I don’t want to be strong. I want to cry and I want to feel the pain.

In experiencing these feelings, I felt as though I was letting God and people down. After all He has done in our life and the lives of others, choosing to take the pain seems like an insult in light of all God has done. I also have a “reputation” to uphold. I have been strong and I’ve given the Lord the credit for the strength I have. But right now I just don’t want to be strong. But giving into grief makes me feel guilty.

Last night I had a brief visit with a friend who had no idea how I was feeling. During our conversation, she suddenly turned and looked directly into my eyes, took ahold of my arm and said “it’s okay to cry”. She went on to remind me that Jesus wept, and that the bible doesn’t say we shouldn’t cry when we are sad. It was as though through my friend, God gave me permission to indulge in my pain for a while. It’s okay that I don’t always feel strong and it’s okay to grieve the loss of my precious son.

So for now I’m spending a lot of time at the cemetery, hanging out there, reading, studying, crying, or taking afternoon naps on my son’s grave, or doing whatever makes me feel the emotions I need to feel right now. After a time, I will hand it all back to God for the load would be too much to bear if I kept it for very long.

I’m grateful that a friend with no knowledge of my turmoil, helped me understand that God knew my struggles. He cared enough to make sure I knew it’s okay to be sad and it’s okay to cry.

TEXAS ROAD TRIP 2010

THE ADVENTURE BEGINS,
Part 1

Is it a “dream trip come true” or am I still trying to cope with the death of my son Adam in Iraq, and put all the pieces of the story in place? Either way, I’m going to have a blast on “Texas Road Trip 2010”!

When my son Adam joined the Marines and was assigned to 3^rd Light Armored Reconnaissance Battalion (LAR). I sought support by hooking up with other 3^rd LAR moms in an online Yahoo group just for family members of 3^rd LAR Marines. A bond formed between the mothers and we became good “friends” although only through the internet. We frequently had evening online group chats, where we of course discussed our sons, along with many other things. We got to “know” one another, and our friendships grew. When our son’s deployed to Iraq in March of 2006, our interaction with one another intensified. We had nightly online group chats and stopped for prayer at 8:00 PM every night. Different moms would lead in prayer – typing a prayer for each of us to read. It was as though we were talking to each other and all praying together. Our online group became a lifeline of sorts.

When news came of my son’s death in Iraq, my “friends” were there for me. They went through Adam’s death with me. The network of support formed through a Yahoo group, helped sustain me in those terribly difficult days. Now years later, we are still friends, although most of us have never met in person.

The moms lived in various places throughout the country, me in Utah, many in the mid-west , with others on the coasts, and several in Texas. It’s been my dream for a while now to meet some of the moms with whom I’ve formed such a deep bond.

Our life was defined by the death of our son. Everything changed and the world shifted for us. Our lives are now filled with the most wonderful people because of Adam; people that came into our lives through the Marine Corps or as a result of Adam’s death. Each one is a special blessing. Texas Road Trip 2010 will take me on a thousand mile journey to meet or once again connect with some of those wonderful people.

The journey begins Friday April 9^th when I arrive in Dallas/Ft. Worth where the road trip will begin. Over the next 10 days I will post “adventure updates”. I’ll share the blessings and stories that unfold along the way. I miss my son more than words could ever express, but in his absence God has blessed us in the most amazing ways. The blessings continue and the journey begins.

ADVENTURE UPDATE,
Part 2

“Lost in Dallas!” That’s was my big Texas welcome! Within five minutes of leaving the airport I was desperately lost in Dallas rush hour traffic, trying to recall all the good reasons for making this trip. At that moment I could think of none. Eventually I reached my first destination, the home of the Hubbard’s. They are a special family who came into my life when Chad, a Marine Officer deployed in Iraq, decided to reach out to a mom who had lost her Marine son. Having no prior connection to our family or to Adam, Chad took it upon himself to make sure that in the loss of my son, I would still have a Marine to watch over me. The Hubbard Family has become very special to me and I am grateful for the blessings God continues to provide, through the people He places in my life.

With Chris Tomlin concert tickets in hand, we “flew” across town, probably breaking land speed records. The concert was an awesome time of praise and worship, and something I had been longing for. In fact, I so longed for that kind of worship, that I bought the concert tickets before I planned the trip to Texas. There was either some faith at work there, or a whole lot of something else, I'm not sure which. Regardless, the concert was all I expected! The following morning the road trip began. 150 miles southeast to Palestine to see The Bailey’s.

During Adam’s time with 3^rd LAR, Millye Bailey’s son Patrick was Navy Corpsman with 2^ndLAR. Milley and I became acquainted when her mother’s group so kindly allowed me to join them when their son’s went to Iraq to replace 3^rd LAR as they returned home. Still needing to be connected and wanting to know what was happening in the city where my son died, Millye became my online friend along with several other 2^nd LAR moms. I found their acceptance of me to be loving yet sacrificial, since I felt I represented their worst nightmare. My son had been brutally killed in the very place their sons now were. Yet they loved me and reached out to me in ways I never expected.

The trip to Millye’s house in Palestine led me through gorgeous Texas countryside with an abundance of trees, wildflowers, green rolling hills and lots of cows. Arriving at the Bailey’s, I was welcomed like long lost family. The bond first formed in an online group was a bond that would never be broken. We talked for hours about everything. Patrick told lots of “Iraq stories”, which were interesting and informative, but also filled in a few more of the “puzzle pieces” for me, as I continue to try to fully understand what happened to Adam. The time spent with this warm and loving family blessed and enriched my life in ways I cannot put into words.

I had to force myself to leave the Bailey’s after two wonderful days there, as I would have been content to plant myself there for sometime. Not only because of the friendship, but also for the outdoor beauty, the warm breeze, singing birds, the wind rustling though the trees and beautiful sights of the area.

I made the 270 mile drive southwest to San Antonio. There I met with the Marine who was injured in the blast that killed my son. We had met before. It was good to see him again and see how much he had progressed. He proudly showed off the new Marine “hang out” at Ft. Sam Houston, for Marines recovering from injuries. Donations from caring Americans have provided a great place with lots of “high tech toys” for the Marines to relax and have fun as their healing process continues.

Navigation challenges aside, the trip so far had been nothing short a wonderful. More adventures and heartwarming moments were ahead as I continued on with "Texas Road Trip 2010". Next stop, Victoria

THE ADVENTURE CONCLUDES,
Part 3

Another GPS mishap while trying to leave San Antonio! This time I knew better and opted to find my own way 110 miles southeast to the town of Victoria. There, I arrived at the home of Retired Army Colonel Michael Petrash. Our paths first crossed on August 31, 2006 one day after Adam’s funeral. We had been invited to hear President Bush address the American Legion Convention in Salt Lake City. Having just buried our son the day before, we were still in a bit of a fog. While waiting for the President’s speech to begin, a kind and compassionate Army Officer took the empty seat next to us. Unbeknownst to us, it was somewhat of a “set up”. Fellow Soldiers summonsed Col. Petrash from across the room as asked him to sit next to us, and quietly informed him we had just buried our Marine son. “Sir, we thought you’d be just the right person to sit with the Galvez Family”, the Soldiers told him. Having lost his adult daughter six years prior in a car accident, Michael knew the pain we were suffering and indeed was just the right person to sit with us. It was as though he was sent by God. His kindness, compassion and spiritual encouragement meant so much on that very difficult day. We visited on occasion while Michael remained in Utah, but since his return to Texas over three years ago, we’d had little contact. Reconnecting with the Petrash’s was like a family reunion.

Deep in the planning process of Warrior's Weekend, Michael and his family, the lead organizers of the project and I met for dinner. What amazing people, managing over 100 volunteers to provide a fishing weekend at Port O’Connor, Texas for those who had suffered devastating injuries in the service of our nation. Three hundred Soldiers plus families members were expected there in a little over a month and these fine people were making it all happen. I am constantly amazed by the people who continue to care so much, and are willing to move heaven and earth to do something meaningful for our servicemen and women. I am honored to know such kind and Godly people. My time with the Petrash’s and the special people in their community was heartwarming and uplifting, and over much too soon.

Day six of Texas Road Trip 2010, led me to Houston to meet with the Marine Mom’s who have meant so much to me over the past several years. Terrie Pagel and Dianne Ladet were the leaders of the 3^rd LAR Yahoo Group that brought me in and connected me with other moms. I briefly met Dianne three years ago, but this was my first face to face meeting with Terrie. They were both a part of my everyday life prior to and during Adam’s deployment and have remained faithful friends ever since. In fact they were the first two people I talked to after being notified of Adam's death. They went through so much with me and I love them both dearly.

Another special mom I met with was Kay Gibson of the Houston Marine Moms. HMM is a large and organized group of Marine Moms. Their group sent Psalm 91 Bandanas to California to be passed out to 3^rd LAR’s deploying Marines in March of 2006. The Chaplain said "these are from a group of Houston Moms", as he handed the bandanas to the Marines just prior to boarding the bus. The Psalm 91 Bandana became a special part of Adam’s story. It was not until after his death, that I found the Houston Marine Moms, and specifically Kay, who were responsible for sending the bandanas that came to mean so much to me. Special bonds had been formed with special people. Their presence in my life means more than I can truly express. Without them, and many other special mom’s, Adam’s death would have been more difficult than it was.

My 1000 mile road trip ended back where it began, in Ft. Worth with the Hubbard’s. The week had been full of special reunions and first time meetings with people I had grown to love without ever having met them. In the death of a son, God had placed many people in my life to be a special blessing during those very difficult days, and always. God’s love and presence are made known in many ways. My Texas Road Trip was once again evidence of God’s love and provision in my life. In the terrible loss of a precious son, God did not leave me to face the pain alone. He sent special people to help lift me up and sustain me when I could not do it myself.

God loves each one of us so deeply and is there for us in good times and bad. He watches over every little detail for us for He sees the whole picture, He knows the beginning and the end. A click on a Yahoo groups page, as incidental as it may seem, was God setting in place the network of people I would need down the road. A soldier calling his Colonel from across the room and asking him to sit by us, a Marine Officer in Iraq who felt compelled to reach out to a mother who had lost her Marine son, are all evidence of God's love and provision. I have suffered great tragedy and have received great blessings. To my Texas friends who mean so much to me, thank you for allowing God to use you to honor my son, bless my life and remind me just how much He loves me.